Children With Absent Fathers
Some children do not have the opportunity to have a father figure in their life. These children may face not having a father for a variety of reasons. Children deal with the loss of the father figure in different ways. Some children appear to have no problem not having a father in their life and others seem to have great difficulties with this loss.
An absent father is either a father that is permanently out of the picture. The father left because he did not want to be involved when the child was born, or he felt no need to be with someone that he did not love and left for that reason. There are other reasons why a father may be absent from a child’s life permanently. Some absent fathers are gone for a temporary period of time. These fathers may have jobs that call them away or other reasons that take them away from home for long periods of time. Absent fathers could be in jail, could be divorced or separate, or could be in the military as well as the reasons mentioned earlier.
Children may have difficulty dealing with the absence of their father. Some children are able to adapt to difficult situations and may be fine without their father. Other children have difficulty with the loss of their father. It is important to keep in mind that a majority of single parents are female and that may indicate that a lot of children have absent fathers. Children with fathers in the picture tend to have less mental health diagnoses and tend to be emotionally healthier. Fathers that are absent or who are not good influences on their children, tend to cause their children to have mental health diagnoses. These kids could be seen as following in the footsteps of their fathers. If their father is constantly going to jail, this sets the example that it is okay for this child to do what his father does. Some of the absent fathers have mental health diagnoses that the children receive genetically or from learning what their father does to cope with life.
In a situation where the father is absent it is important to once again understand how the children feel about the situation. It does not help for a parent to bad mouth another parent. Allow the child to talk freely about the absent parent. Make sure the child understands that the absence of their father is in no way their fault. Often children tend to take the blame for their absent parent. Good parenting requires the parent to explain why the father is absent and how it is not the child’s fault. Even with all the talk a child may find it difficult to accept that the situation is not their fault. Children need some messages repeated so that they can absorb the information. If none of the above works have the child attend counseling and work out grief and loss issues in relation to the absent father.
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I have a 5year old grandaughter who’s father drops in and out of her life periodically for what ever reasons he has that are not clear to my daughter or myself. Tonight my grandaughter has cried herself to sleep because she is so upset saying that she ‘doesn’t feel lucky and that her life is ruined’. It’s heart breaking to hear this, can anyone give any advice on how to handle this please?
hi,
i know how the father is and he thinks that i have to take him where is he sitting and when they say that he come there he gets mad and calls me name and say things that will hurt the kid
I completely second Jolly’s statement that the ‘BLOOD’ is not what defines the father but the effort and interest put forth is what truly matters.
A child’s destiny is by NO means written simply because the biological father is absent.
If anything, it is pure motivation for the primary parent to be all within their power they can be for the child. Nothing less.
DADDY isn’t defined as the man who makes the child, but rather the man who extends his hands and time to help with the child’s raising and his heart to love the child through anything!!!! BLOOD doesn’t always make you a DAD. Being a DAD comes from the heart… any fool can make a baby, it takes a man to raise a child!.
I could not agree less… I would have been so much better off without ever knowing my “dad”. Conceiving a child does not, in any way, automatically make you a parent. It just means that you have sexual organs that work the way they are designed to work. When an adult is unable to put the welfare of a child before ALL else, especially drugs or alcohol… They should not EVER be around that child. While my Mom had to struggle financially, my dad was able to drink himself to sleep every night (sometimes day). He was/is a waste of space, and has taught me NOTHING except what I dont want my son to have in his life. Unfortunately, I learned that lessen AFTER I became pregnant. My son’s “dad” is EXACTLY like my “dad”.
i think dhat fathers shoplld always be there 4 dhere children no matter what happen
All fathers should be there for their kids no matter what!!! I grew up without my father, and my life was bad. His name is Joseph McCall from Philadelphia PA and now lives in Virgina, and not to put all the blame of my life on him, but if he was there for me I know things would have been better. he married and raised 2 other kids but not me. Was I not good enough??? I know I’m not the only person out there with a story like this, but they all need to be heard…