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Parenting Help for the Disciplinarian Mom or Dad

photo credit: woodleywonderworks

When you hear the word ?disciplinarian?, you probably could imagine a sergeant with a whip. At home, this word could refer to a parent who believes in strict discipline. Taken loosely, however, the word could mean anyone who believes in discipline. When you are a parent, you should recognize the fact that you should learn to become a disciplinarian, not someone wielding a whip though. Discipline is a parenting help topic that deserves a book for itself. This is because the level of discipline depends on the various stages your baby has to go through.

The End of an Era

In the first year of your baby?s life, you can coddle him all you can without spoiling him. You can come running when he cries and keep on giving him what he needs. Your immediate response to his needs is, after all, vital to his survival.? You can also take all the screaming, crying, clawing for your hair and the rest of his baby tantrums.? The tantrums may not be part of a baby?s survival but he will not yet understand discipline at this point. What he needs is to feel that you love him.

After the first year, however, you need to teach him right from wrong. If you keep on coddling him even when he has done something wrong, he can end up spoiled. You have to start asking your own mom and dad for parenting help and tips.

The Dangers of Being Over-Strict or Being Over-Lenient

If you are overly strict, you can end up stifling your child?s self-expression. Your child may even develop a resentment that he could carry towards adulthood. Instead of having an open and trusting relationship, you will find yourself with a child who purposely turns away from you. Your child could mistrust you or he could mistrust himself. He could be dangerous to himself.

If you are overly lenient, on the other hand, you will end up raising a child who does not respect authority or does not know his boundaries. Without limitations, your child could get in trouble especially outside your home. He will not hesitate from doing things that most people consider as terrible. He has somehow grown up without a healthy sense of right and wrong. He could be dangerous to other people.

If you are leaning towards either extreme, you should seek some parenting help from child psychologists. Also, if you think that you have been raised well, you can turn to your own parents.

Balancing Act

When you discipline your child, you do it out of love and not anger. When you are still furious with your child, take deep breaths before confronting him. This way, you can make good decisions and say what you want objectively and not emotionally. Even if you do love your child so much that you do not want him to get hurt, you should still discipline him. In fact, disciplining your child will save him from worse hurts.

Disciplining a child is tough. However, it is a necessary part of a parent-child relationship. Without rules and boundaries, you cannot say that you are raising your child; you are just helping him survive and exist.