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Disciplining Your Little One: Striking The Right Balance

A newborn can get away with just about anything. If he cries or fusses, you’ll do whatever you can to comfort him. As he becomes a little older, you’ll need to exert your disciplinarian muscles when his behavior is unacceptable to you. The question is, how far do you go? How much discipline is too much or too little?

This challenge isn’t limited to new parents; those who have had children in the past still cope with trying to find the middle ground. In this article, we’ll describe the effects of being overly-strict and overly-lenient with your little one. We’ll also provide a few tips for striking the right balance.

The Effects Of Being Overly-Strict

Parents must establish rules and boundaries for their children in order to teach and protect them. It’s also helpful to use various forms of chastisement or punishment to enforce those rules and boundaries. Many moms and dads go overboard and completely stifle their toddlers’ freedom. While doing so might yield short-term benefits (for example, your little one might avoid injuries), being overly-strict often carries long-term costs.

Your child might lose faith in your decisions. He may come to resent the lack of freedom he has. When he becomes a teenager, he may avoid coming to you to discuss important problems in his life. What’s more, if your rules shield him from experiencing failure or defeat as a child, he’ll be unprepared to cope with such experiences as an adult.

The Effects Of Being Overly-Lenient

The disciplinarian role of a parent is difficult. Few moms and dads want to restrain their kids to the point they have no freedom. However, boundaries are necessary and must be enforced to prepare children for the experiences they’ll have throughout their lives.

If you don’t establish rules for your toddler, or you neglect to punish him when he violates your rules, you’ll encourage a number of problems. It’s not uncommon for young children to feel a lack of security when their parents are overly-lenient. They also have difficulty developing personal boundaries, which can hamper their ability to form lasting relationships with others.

Finding A Middle Ground

So, if being overly-strict or overly-lenient both lead to problems, how can you forge a middle ground? The key is to allow your toddler to make an increasing number of decisions on his own, and then, to encourage him to deal with the consequences. For example, let him choose between a few beverages to have during breakfast. If he ends up disliking his choice, don’t let him switch. Instead, use the opportunity to teach him the value of personal freedom and the consequences of his decisions. As he grows older, let him make decisions that carry more weight – and heavier consequences.

Disciplining your child doesn’t mean preventing him from doing everything. It means teaching him how to thrive within a world that will challenge him throughout his life. If you can find the right balance, you’ll prepare him for later success.