Cherie’s Story
Children Do Not Lie About Sexual Abuse
Many abusers count on authorities not believing a child’s story when they talk about sexual abuse. When an abuser is a respected member of the community, it’s natural to not want to believe he or she could possibly harm a child, but children do not lie about sexual abuse. This is one time that authorities need to assume the worst until the facts come to light. Protecting the child should always be the priority. ~ Parenting Maven
Here is Cherie BenJoseph’s Story
She seemed “perfect “– But Something was Terribly Wrong!!!
One little girl changed my life!!! My Story:
I am a licensed clinical social worker. Years ago I was a Guidance Counselor in a middle school and was fortunate to know an amazing 12 year old girl – she was a straight A student, class president, and often served as a role model for new students getting acclimated to the school. She came to my office one day and handed me a little magazine clipping – it read:
My step-father has been sexually abusing me what do I do? I was stunned!!!
In my work, reports of sexual abuse where not uncommon BUT in this situation I was thrown off guard as I didn’t detect any of the typical signs of abuse that the ‘textbooks’ teach us. She seemed “perfect”.
We went through the procedures of reporting to the authorities and after a long hard battle the step-father finally went to jail. Later on in counseling I asked what prompted her to come forward at that time. She revealed that her step-father was showing interest in her 7 year old sister…..the age she was when he moved into her house and starting abusing her. One of the most disturbing parts of this story is that her step-father was the co- president of our PTA – he had put himself in a position of authority in our school. He was banking on us doubting her claim. We believed her….Children do not lie about sexual abuse.
This incident sent me from a world of reactive social work to proactive prevention education….. and KidSafe was born. I began teaching all children in the school prevention education – with the new realization that ALL children need information to help keep themselves safe. All children need to know they have rights! – The right to keep their bodies safe, the right to say NO, and the right to TELL.
90% of the time a child is abused it is by someone they know and trust….just like my student. However, 95% of abuse of children can be prevented through education. We owe it to our children to give them the necessary life skills to be safe. One “Perfect” student changed the course of my life. You can help change the course of other children out there who may be suffering in silence. Please join our Mission to bring personal safety education to all children through our KidSafe Foundation. For more information and parent tips visit www.kidsafe foundation.org
This topic is very touching to me. I have been in the classroom for a long time and have seen and heard stories that is so heart wrenching. It beaks my heart to know a child is being abused. They are supposed to be protected not harmed.
I agree that most of the time children don’t lie about sexual abuse, and I agree that all allegations must be investigated. However, I know of a mother who was mentally unstable, and as a result her husband was leaving her. She became desperate to get back at her husband and made up a story that she thought her husband was sexually abusing their 7 year old son. The mother obtained a PFA and the father was not allowed contact with his son. The mother brainwashed the son and bullied him into telling lies, essentially fabricating a story that never happened. What 7 year old is going to doubt their mother? She essentially fooled the boy into believing something happened. A psycho-sexual evaluation was completed over several months and the allegation was proven false. The child could give no details as to physical aspects of the father, etc. The evaluator found the mother to suffer from bi-polar disorder, as well as a form of Munchausen’s. The father passed a lie detector test. After months of supervised visits, the father won custody of his son because the mother insisted she still believed something happened. All the while, the mom did not restrict her husband from having contact with their two daughters. If the man were a pedophile, and you suspected he did something to one of your children, would you let him be around your other children? Her story had so many loopholes, it was obvious she was fabricating it, yet she convinced many members of the community that her husband was guilty. She cost the father over $60,000 in legal and psychotherapy fees and estranged him from his son for over a year. The son now suffers from severe anxiety whenever his father leaves the house, and must attend therapy sessions once a week. During his visitation with his mother, the mother still talks about the father and insists she believes something happened. The mother is dependent upon the father for alimony and child support, otherwise she would be on welfare. Yet she continues to badmouth him whenever she can.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by parentingmaven, Bonkers and Julia Neiman, Marie Katague. Marie Katague said: Cherie’s Story | Parenting Help Me http://bit.ly/eQTYwE [...]